I had a friend of over 20 years who lied to me and on me! There are not enough words to describe my feelings. I felt hurt, angry, disappointed and insulted just to name a few. It changed the course of our friendship. I forgave her the next day. It wasn't easy, it got better with each day! I knew and understood how toxic resentment and unforgiveness can be to me! I chose myself! I know unforgiveness can hold you as a prisoner of your own thoughts.
Did we remain friends? Absolutely not! In the famous words of Mya Angelou "When people show you who they are, believe them". When you allow forgiveness, you can also embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy. Forgiving her took away the power of her lies. I always say how people treat you reveals a certain character trait in them. It’s not about you but it’s about them. Remember, while they hurting you may reveal something about them, you not forgiving them reveals something about you.
Forgiveness is the oil of all relationships. It is not for the weak because it takes a lot of selflessness, self-awareness, strength, patience, love and understanding to let go when someone has hurt you.
I challenge you to forgive: What it will do for you is:
Be sure to let people know your feelings. Let them you know you forgive them for the hurt.
Keep in mind that forgiveness relieves you of pain. It’s medicine for you.
Think about the ways that resentment negatively holds you back and affects your life.
You’re not responsible for someone else’s behavior, only your own. Perhaps you didn’t communicate your expectations or boundaries, provoked the person, or denied his or her capacity to hurt you.
Try to see the person’s behavior and attitude from his or her point of view in the context of their life experience. Did he or she intentionally try to hurt you? In other words, develop empathy, but this doesn’t justify abuse or mean you should forget they’re capable of repeating it.
If you pray, pray for the other person! It is good for you too!
The universe will give you more when you value what you have!~