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Writer's pictureDavena Wellington

Get Out Of Your Own Way!

All-or-nothing thinking is the destructive and non-productive. It is thinking in extremes. All or nothing. Black or white. Good or bad. All or nothing thinking prevents people from exploring the grey area and can lead to anxiety, depression and low self-esteem. All-or-nothing thinking prevents us from growing, learning and generally enjoying anything that isn’t perfect. It separates everything into two categories: good or bad, success or failure, perfect or terrible. Since literally no one is perfect, all-or-nothing thinking does not allow for celebration of the positive and the good. Consider these absolute words that people often say: always, never,

perfect, complete, impossible, identical, ruined, can’t, everybody…


The modern world is complex and has subtle changes and differences that cannot simply be placed into one box or another. Things happen in this life! The toughest obstacle you will encounter will be the battle in your own mind. When thinking one thing makes everything bad, I'd like to remember these metaphors:

  • If you were late for work one day, would you quit your job because you failed to get to work on time one day?

No, you would regroup for another day

  • Would you throw a whole carton of eggs because one is broken?

No, you would use the other eggs

  • Would you puncture all of your other tires if ONE is flat?

No, you would get the ONE fixed





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